My Dad: How Different Are Eighty and Eighteen?

Today is my father’s eightieth birthday. He lives three hours away, so while I will not be with him today, I was on Sunday, Father’s Day, as were many members of his family.

I always enjoy hearing my dad tell stories about when he was younger. When we picked him up for dinner, he said he had a Navy picture from 1943 to show me, but somehow it got lost in all the family doings. I will have to remember to ask again.

In 1943, my dad turned eighteen in June, my mother in July, and they were married in August. Two weeks later, my dad left for boot camp.

I bring this up because on Sunday, my nephew was relating the story of how he waited until his dad came around to dealing with his intended before he married her. My brother-in-law is nice; he just has his own ideas. Anyway, that got Dad talking about when he asked my grandfather if he could marry my mother. Grandpa said yes; he just asked that they be married in his house. My mom was one of seven children and the only one that her parents saw married.

My husband made a comment about not being able to relate to waiting one or two years until your spouse’s parents came around, and I told him that the reason he can’t is because we wouldn’t have. We didn’t. My father objected big time to my marriage before it happened, although he has treated my husband like a son ever since. My father, in his patriarchal role, said it was always better to have the blessing of both families, and at that point, I could not help myself.

“Dad,” I said. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t I remember hearing that you and Mom had an alternate plan if the grandparents said no?”

My father actually blushed, something I had never seen before. He said (as he looked at the top of his shoes) that he and Mom did have another plan and were glad they didn’t have to use it.

Looking at my dad as he blushed, it was easy to see the eighteen year old boy in the eighty year old man. Obviously I did not enter the picture until later. I am so thankful that I have this memory to carry with me. Although I miss my mother very much, her death left a benefit I never imagined. I began to know my father as a person, not just as my dad.

I am richer for the knowledge.

If Tomorrow Starts without Me

I received the following in an e-mail and thought it was worth sharing.

A few weeks ago a woman was killed in an auto accident. She was
very, very well liked, so the office shut down for her funeral and it
was on the news and so on. On the day the workers came back to work, they found this poem in their e-mail that the deceased woman had sent on Friday before she left for home.

If tomorrow starts without me, And I’m not there to see,

If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn’t cry the way you did today,

While thinking of the many things, we didn’t get to say.

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,

And each time that you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,

That an angel came and called my name, and took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready, in heaven far above,

And that I’d have to leave behind, all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,

For all my life, I’d always thought, I didn’t want to die.

I had so much to live for, so much left yet to do,

It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad,

I thought of all that we shared, and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,

I’d say good-bye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized, that this could never be,

For emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow,

I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven’s gates, I felt so much at home.

When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne,

He said, “This is eternity, and all I’ve promised you.

Today your life on earth is past, but here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,

And since each day’s the same way, there’s no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful, so trusting and so true.

Though there were times you did some things, you knew you shouldn’t do.

But you have been forgiven, and now at last you’re free.

So won’t you come and take my hand, and share my life with me?”

So when tomorrow starts without me, don’t think we’re far apart.

For every time you think of me, I’m right here, in your heart.