Love Dare, Days 5 and 6

Yesterday, I did not look at my challenge sheet before we went to church, so when our pastor said from the pulpit that the challenge was a really hard one, I was sort of worried.

As luck…no, as God would have it, I went from church into the Bible study I got shanghaied into where we are doing A Woman’s Heart by Beth Moore, and one of the things we talked about in there was the influence that a woman has over her man and how we have to be careful to use that influence for good.  I was wondering about that, particularly one illustration Beth used that has bothered me since.  She was joking (probably), but she said that Satan asked Eve to eat the apple first because he was pretty sure she could convince Adam to eat, too, and he wasn’t sure it would work so well the other way around.

Is my influence over the hubby really that strong?  And, oh, boy, if it is, I sure better be careful about how I use it!

Anyway, when we got home, I looked at my sheet, and here was the challenge:

Ask your spouse to tell you three
things that cause him or her to be
uncomfortable or irritated with you.
You must do so without attacking them
or justifying your behavior. This is
from their perspective only.

Our pastor was right; that is hard!  The hubby is a pretty patient guy, but I wasn’t really sure what he was going to come up with there!  And just like in most marriages, there are some things he doesn’t bring up because, well, I, um…might attack him or justify my behavior.

This was the hubby’s  comment.  See,  we play word puzzles on the computer frequently, and I sort of enjoy that time because I get to type.  Since I never get to touch the TV remote, I think that’s only fair.  I don’t think he thinks it’s fair, exactly, but he tolerates it.  That’s not what irritates him, though.  What irritates him is if I say I am ready and then, while I am waiting on him, key up something else on the computer.  That means that when he shows up, he has to wait, and that irritates him.

That’s the only thing he came up with, and it’s something I can easily fix except that I don’t see why I should just sit there while I am waiting for him, which doesn’t sound especially loving now that I write it down.

While I was chewing on this, we moved on to Day 6 (by the way, I found a website where you can see your own challenge if you want), and today’s challenge was this:

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation.  Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule.  Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

I know the computer thing is a stupid little thing, but I could certainly add enough margin to my schedule to wait just that little bit for the hubby.  I get the  feeling that I am rather selfish at times.  And, going back to the Sunday morning Bible study, where we were discussing how marriage is a mirror of Christ’s relationship with His church, the whole schedule thing takes on new meaning.  There’s no doubt that I could make more time to spend in prayer and Bible reading than I do.  And there’s no doubt that I could do it with a better attitude sometimes.

This Love Dare challenge is teaching me some stuff…


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January 2010
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