“Twas the Month after Christmas or Beware of Christmas Carry-ins!

I found myself thinking that a lot today as I enjoyed what was at our school carry-in.  I have decided that I will enjoy such things, but now that I’m, um….older, the consequences of that enjoyment are a little harder to get rid of.  I don’t know who wrote the poem below, but it seems to fit the occasion, so I thought I’d share.

‘Twas the Month After Christmas

‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I did taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”
As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt—
I said to myself, as I only can “You can’t spend a winter
disguised as a man!”
So–away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
‘Til all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won’t have a cookie–not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore—
But isn’t that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
I’m not kidding anybody, though.  I probably won’t exercise a lot of self-control until after the holidays.  There are too many things that are good to eat that we only make during holiday time!



1 Response to ““Twas the Month after Christmas or Beware of Christmas Carry-ins!”

  1. 1 writeathome December 25, 2009 at 3:35 am

    Hi Becky,

    I’ve been a very bad girl and haven’t exercised any self-control when it comes to eating this holiday season. I can tell I’ve gained weight, but I haven’t been brave enough yet to step on the scale and see how much. I still have the Kaiser diet taped to the refrigerator, and after the holidays I plan to go back on it. Hope you and your family will have a wonderful Christmas.


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December 2009
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