Domestic Violence

Another thing that came up in church today was domestic violence.  The head of the local women’s shelter is a member of my church.  She is a good public speaker.  I had never heard her before, and several of the things she said pierced my heart more so than they would have previously since my daughter has been a victim of abuse.  Here are some of them.

1.  Women leave abusive men up to SEVEN  times before they can make the final break.

2.  Abuse is not just physical.  It can be verbal, emotional or financial.

3.  People who say, “She’s an adult.  If she doesn’t like what’s going on, she can just leave,” do not realize how gradually domestic abuse starts and how quickly self-esteem wanes.  They do not realize that abusers cut their victims off from any support system. 

4. Domestic abuse affects the children, whether you want to think that or not.  The speaker told of a poster of a cute little boy with a black eye.  The caption read, “He has his mother’s eyes.”

5. Domestic abuse is generational.  Much of the damage can be done in the first two years of life.  For every negative comment you make to a child, it takes ten positive ones to undo the damage.

I am thankful that I am not married to an abuser, but I am also aware that sin is present in all of us and domestic abuse is just another sin.  Given my daughter’s experience, I hope I will be more capable of noticing the signs the next time I encounter it.

Domestic violence does touch you in some way.  I hope you are sensitive to it. 


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