Husbands, Wives and Smiles

I guess I tend to torture my husband. I don’t know if this is a female thing, or it is just something that I do. This is how it goes: when he pays me a compliment, I smile at him and say, “Is that why you married me?”

I don’t do this to torture him, really. I do it because men and women are made differently emotionally and I really want to know, although I know that if the situation were reversed, I could never list all the reasons I married him.

Still, it would be nice to know. The problem here is that my husband is one of that generation of men who know intellectually that it is OK to have feelings, but not having seen many of them displayed by their fathers, they are not really comfortable with the situation. My husband, I think, is better than many in this respect. He shows his feelings, to me, anyway. Or maybe it is that I know how to read them.

When asked why he married me, though, my husband will resort to a line out of the old Star Trek. When Spock asked his father why he married an human, seeing as they are so emotional, Sarek replied, “It was the logical thing to do.”

There was, in actuality, very little that was logical in our choosing each other. Right, yes. But not exactly logical.

Nevertheless, my husband gave me one of the sweetest answers he has ever given the other day. He said he married me to make me smile. He remembered that when we hadn’t been married very long, I told him that I had smiled more since I married him than I had the whole rest of my life. Having been married to him for more than half of my life, he said that statement might not have the same impact now, but at the time, he really appreciated it.

So do I. And it’s still true. Logical or not.


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October 2005
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